The Collage
by Thedarkknightsurprises98
Summary: Kid starts out his day feeling like he's on cloud nine; but will his nervous system withstand the strain of a hyperactive weapon's antics?


_After multiple foiled attempts at putting the proper indentations at the beginning of this fanfic's paragraphs, I have been forced to give up on the notion. With that said, I hope you enjoy this story.  
_

_I don't own Soul Eater..._

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"Ah, what a perfect day…" Kid announced cheerfully, more to himself than anyone else. It was indeed; after he had awoken precisely at the stroke of eight, Kid had proceeded to make his daily inspections around the mansion. The candles were all burning in perfect symmetry (their arrangement goes without saying), the pictures were all hanging in perfect order, and his honorable father had given him the privilege of a special mission usually reserved for meisters of higher rank! All this had put him in an extremely good mood; and he felt that nothing could spoil it…

Meanwhile, at the other end of the residence, things were not quite so orderly.

"Hey Patti, what are you doing?"

Patti halted her drawer rummaging and turned to face her older sister. "I'm making a collage!" she chirped.  
"Oh…I see." Liz replied. She watched as her little sister began to cover their bedroom floor with assorted objects as she hunted for some scissors. In about five minutes, Patty's drawer had been completely empty, but the scissors had yet to be found. "You know…" Liz began. "If you were more neat, you wouldn't have such a hard time finding-"

"I like giraffes!" Patti suddenly exclaimed as she picked up the remains of her first exam.

"That's nice…" Liz rolled her eyes as her younger sister proceeded to convert the paper creature into confetti; it was a good thing Kid wasn't here...

If the young Shinigami had known about the proceeding in the other end of the manor, he probably would've had a stroke. He was blissfully unaware of the proceedings however, and was presently whistling a tune as he straightened the mansion's numerous pictures, compulsively of course. Once satisfied with his efforts, Kid then proceeded to engage in other, similar pursuits.

Patti seemed to have put her soul into her work; for the room was now a disaster zone, and the only clear space in the room was due to Liz brushing away random projectiles because she didn't want to step on anything painful when she needed to move. Fast-forward a few hours…

Kid was now standing cheerfully in front of his weapons' room, blissfully ignorant to the horrors which awaited on the other side of the door.

"Liz! Patti!" he chirped. "It is time to leave for our important mission! I wish to leave precisely at the stroke of -" he was interrupted in mid call; the door had opened.

"Oh…Kid-kun." Liz said nonchalantly. "You probably shouldn't have opened the door…"

Her meister didn't answer; he was too shell-shocked for such things. He was only able to stare and point at the monstrosity before him.

"What. In the world. Is that?" he stuttered feebly, knees knocking.

"Er…" Liz didn't know whether or not that question was supposed to be rhetorical.

Patti shot up from the floor in a single sudden motion, sending various particles of…stuff cascading to the ground in a gentle cloud of confetti. "HIIIII KIIIID! BYYYYYE KIIIID!" she squealed excitedly before rushing past him and bolting down the hallway, most likely in search of something else to add to her art project.

As he examined the disaster zone, Kid could feel a cold sweat beginning to form on his brow; he found chaotic scenes such as this to be contemptible. The floor was covered with glitter of all colors, paper of all colors, and things of all types; it had no order, it was completely asymmetrical, Kid felt a fever coming upon him. Crouched off in a far off corner, he could see Liz looking back at him worriedly, with as much concern she could muster while she painted her nails.

Resting sinisterly in the center of the room was the fateful collage… It was obviously asymmetrical; said article did not have a uniform shape, it had multiple textures which varied in height, and it was composed of the most random things! Kid felt the color drain from his face; suddenly, the day was no longer perfect, quite the opposite in fact...

Liz was now looking at her meister with undivided attention; her nails momentarily forgotten. She could tell that he was definitely agitated, probably even more so than usual. Should she try to calm him down? Maybe, but something told her that it would only add fuel to the impending symmetry rant; and Liz didn't want to be included in that undesirable situation. But as she watched Kid become increasingly unstable, a guilty pang shot through her system; and she began to feel that as his weapon, it was her duty to look out for him, even if it wasn't always pleasant.

Just as Liz had opened her mouth, Patti came galloping back into the room, clutching an object tightly in her hand. Skipping cheerfully over the treacherous floor, she sank to her knees beside her collage and slapped her finishing touch to her masterpiece. It was now perfect!

Kid emitted a silent scream as Patti stood back from the ghastly monstrosity and proudly surveyed her work. But what got to him the most out of all the despicable components was the 'finishing touch'.

"P-patti…what is….where did…"

"Hm?" Patti looked up questioningly.

Kid gasped in reply and pointed to the object with a trembling finger.

Patti looked from the finger to the collage and rested her eyes upon the part her meister indicated. "Heh heh…oh, this?" she inquired happily. "It's from our first mission together!"

Kid stiffened visibly; it was the spherical cat creature from the temple? Now that he forced himself to scrutinize more closely, it did indeed appear to be the corpse of that major disappointment; how disgusting.

Patti hummed a tune as she hoisted her art work off the floor and proceeded to carry it over to the wall; she was going to hang it up! She only faintly heard her older sister's feeble attempts of dissuasion; and ignored the half-hearted utterances with the greatest of ease.

This was too much for Kid's nervous system to handle; he let loose a squawk of displeasure and entered into a full out rant about symmetry as he quickly evacuated the scene. It would take drastic measures to restore perfection to that room…

Liz and Patti watched him go off in a cloud of dust, a sweat drop forming on their heads.

"Nee-san?" Patti inquired. "How long did Kid-kun last this time?"

Liz took out her stopwatch. "Just over eight minutes; we have a new record."


End file.
